Timeless
by quietmoondancer
Summary: Because I loved her and that feeling can never die." EPOV That excerpt basically says it all. AH canon couples Rated M for future themes
1. Chapter 1

"For you see, each day I love you more Today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow." - Rosemonde Gerard

**Preface**

Class. A lesson on Alexander the Great. Write a 10-page essay on his life or accomplishments. Due next week. I wonder what mister Alexander would think of me not caring a dime about his life and instead having other things filling up my thoughts. Then again whatever I'm thinking at the moment always get pushed back to the recesses of my mind putting _her _in perspective and effectively making me forget where I am sitting or even what I'm talking about anymore. It's troublesome but expected by now and I welcome the distraction anytime I get the chance because at least I can picture her in the daytime. At night, when I'm supposed to welcome sleep in the dark confines of my room. Sleep so rarely grants me the advantage and I'd much rather think of her as much as possible. It's a choice and something uncontrollable because ever since the day she left all of this behind I've thought about her every single day and night. That was the day when I knew I did meant it when I told her I liked her, but in reality it was more. Because I loved her and that feeling can never die.

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**A/N: I know this is big coming from me and I know I have yet to update my other stories but I promise if you like it the wait will be worth it for the others. This has been stuck in my head and I just had to write it. Tell me if you like it pretty please**


	2. Ch1 Forged Bond

"The human heart, at whatever age, opens to the heart that opens in return." -Maria Edgeworth

**Chapter 1 - The Forged Bond**

It's a Friday and school is done for the next 2 days. The cheery chatter of my schoolmates do little for me and instead of trying to feign enthusiasm I won't feel, I make my way to my car. I drive back home. I revel in the quiet this car gives me as I speed down one of the many empty roads of Forks while keeping my mental chatter to a dull. It's not the time for it to begin it's assault yet. When I get home I take time to ponder on my seat while looking towards the empty garage and garden. I go inside and my suspicions are confirmed. I momentarily appraise my surroundings finding the quiet of the house calming. I become grateful I have some time to myself to start wondering in my thoughts uninterrupted by my family. I make the trek to my room while seeing what my schedule will be for the night. I have calculus homework but I can work on that later. I had to make a phone call to Tanya but that's not important. She'll whine, I know the drill but she'll get over it. She's not as important as what I have to do. _I bet __**she**__ wouldn't whine. I bet __**she **__wouldn't require me to call her every…2 hours was it?_ No. With a shake of my head I flop down unto my bed ungraciously and stare up at the ceiling letting my mind work on its daily routine. The one that starts out with waking up and ends with her face. The one that had captivated me so many years ago and the one I now believed to be even more graceful. I wouldn't have to call her every 2 hours. I would call her every 30 minutes or every 15 or every 10. It would be my choice. I would revel in each laugh, in each joke, in each sweet breath she took while on the phone with me.

I continue my stare while I relax my stressed muscles and I begin to wander through the recesses of my mind. The time should be around 5 in the afternoon, I'm sure. There is no noise at all still, so dinner will probably be Chinese. My favorite. _Does she like it as well._ Again. I have such bad discipline when it comes to her. This habit is not as much about unwinding as it is to control my mind. Though it's something I appreciate about my subconscious, it's rather problematic when I'm on an important task. No. Problematic, never. That word should never apply to her. She could never be something as such. Though they were certain times…_ Focus._

Right. My day. I woke up at 6:30 on the dot but went back to sleep and woke up 6:45am. Just 15 more minutes but I welcomed then graciously because it was 15 more minutes and with those I had a total of about 4 hours of sleep. The Alexander essay had been more challenging than I had previously expected and the little work I had done over the week was truly not conductive towards finishing the dreaded thing. _My facial expression turns into a frown._ Of course I liked staying up late at night I only slept because it was necessary. I got ready in my usual 10 minute routine and went down to have a bite of breakfast. I had seen my father in the kitchen which was a surprise since he was usually already at the hospital but I shrugged it off. I didn't find that there was anything wrong with the fact and sat down next to Emmett while I ate a simple bar of granola. I never have that much appetite in the morning anyways. I was surprised to see Emmett get up almost as soon as I sat down and rush out the door in a less than sullen and anxious look on his face. I recall him saying something about picking up his girlfriend for school but I can barely make his words and my parents look sullen as well. I briefly think about inquiring about their moods this early in the morning but Esme cuts me off before I can even get a word in suggesting I do the same and pick up Tanya. I acquiesce and leave thoughtful as to what they could be hiding before I stop at her door.

I can hear the slam of the door and return to the present wondering as to who it would be. From the sounds of the voices it seems to be my mother and father. I briefly ponder whether to go down and greet them but instead return to my routine. I'll get to see them later at dinner, anyways. Emmett doesn't seem to be here. _Must be with Rosalie._ Aside from my mother Rosalie was one of the few women that could completely understand Emmett and tolerate all of his mannerisms. A very rare thing to come to witness, I must add.

Tanya had greeted me with the customary surprised squeal and hug before reaching up to kiss me. This was part of our relationship that was customary in most couples but I just didn't enjoy much with her. I allowed her and put my lips to hers but that was it. Anything to stop her from whining so early in the morning and I led her into the car. She messed with my stereo and criticized my taste in music before finding a pop station and singing along with the upbeat song that was playing. I had tuned her out. When we arrived at school I allowed her to take me to her group of friends and I take my place hovering in the background. This wasn't my environment, it was hers. I was just her arm candy. It didn't matter much to me. From the corner of my eye I caught site of spiky black hair and blond messy locks. _They_ were here already.

With that sight my day had quickly come to become sullen as well.

I sighed and got out of bed and paced around my room. The memories could no longer be contained because _they_ were one of my catalysts. They had been her best friends after the incident and they ignited a smile in her so many times. She trusted them. She liked their company. She said goodbye to _them._ But not me. I sigh as I pace around the room and turn on my stereo. My mood had become sullen and melancholic and I listen to some classical music. It's one of the few genres that catch on my mood perfectly no matter what.

I pace, and I stop in front of my French type windows. I stare out to the forest and try to leave my mind blank. I don't want to think of her right now. I don't want to ruin this tranquil moment. I'll think of her after. When it's more quiet. When I can smile to myself at whatever I can remember. I don't plan ahead as to what memory I will invoke because if I do I won't stop. _I'll let it happen later._

I look back at the inside of my semi - cluttered room and the clock reads 6:30. Time goes by fast when you're lost in your own head. Dinner is at 7:00pm like usual. I can't put off calling Tanya any longer and I pick up my cell-phone. I cringe internally at what's expecting me at the other side of the line but I dial single digit she had claimed for herself in my speed dial. One. It rings 3 times before her voice sneers my name both exasperated and relieved. I never understood her need to have me so close to her. Sometimes it felt like she was suffocating me but I put up with it because I didn't want any more problems with my family. They claimed Tanya was perfect for me and after my behavior before I wouldn't put them through the same thing twice.

"I'm sorry Tanya." _Lie. _"I just got caught up in finishing my calculus homework."_ Another lie._ If I was going to be truthful I would've told her I just didn't want to call her and I was thinking about someone else but I knew she would take things out of proportion. Plus, I didn't want anyone to know about my fixation on her. It was something between the both of us, even if she didn't know about it.

"_Okay_." The word was phrased carefully. She was treading the waters. More questioning would ensue. "So, why exactly is math more important than me?" _Bingo we have a winner. _"I mean. I am your _girlfriend_ Edward. I deserve at least _some_ attention. Sometimes it feels like you don't even care about this." Whining. She whines all the time. And the argument has been acted out so many times already it feels like it's part of the relationship itself.

I sit on my bed already too exasperated to keep calm. Thoughts of her keep plaguing my mind and I can't take it anymore. "School is important, Tanya." I snap and she takes a breath at the other side of the line sounding hurt. I'm about to apologize but I just don't want it anymore. I don't want this relationship. It's based on looks and on other people. _It's not a relationship at all. _"A lot of things are important. I can't be by your side every second of everyday. I have other things to think about." My words feel like they come out too harsh but I'm glad at the same time. This was long overdue.

"Like thinking about _her._" I freeze. The words are so icy and cold and angry. She's talking about…. But how did she- "Yeah Edward. I know. I know you think about her _all_ the time. You love her. But _she's not here._ She's gone. I'm right here. But you don't even notice me half the time. Do you know how hard it is to be second. No, not even second. In fucking **LAST PLACE.**" She sounds hurt but she's bitter at the same time and glad?

"It's not like that." I reply already too angry to even try and reason with her but I try anyway. I run my had through my hair and at the same time I continue to try. I always tried. For the good of everyone. Especially for Tanya because I knew it wasn't fair to her. I always knew that but I continued to go along with my mind. Allowed her to fill me from afar. Allowed her to own me no matter the distance. Because I loved her and I'd give anything to be with her again.

A dark laugh rings in the other line and I'm brought back to reality. To the one I build for myself. To the one that includes Tanya. "Really, Edward. Do you think I'm that big of an idiot? Why else do you think I do everything I do for you. To help you forget her. To keep you here in the present with me. That bitch is not even here and she literally _owns_ you. I have no place in this and you have no idea how much _that_ hurts."

It's true. I always knew Tanya wasn't as clingy as she is but the fact that she insulted her does not escape me and my anger flares. To protect her because she doesn't deserve any sort of profanity to be told about her. Especially if she's not here to defend herself. "Don't talk about her like that. You don't know what you're talking about." No one has a right to speak ill of her. No one has a right to know about this. Me and my fixation. "_Oh please_. Everyone knows. The whole damn school knows about this. Everyone knew even _before_ she was gone and the day she did leave it was pretty obvious. But tell me. Does she feel the same? _Did_ she feel the same? Did she even say _goodbye_ to you, Edward?" The words cut me. Deep. And I knew that she meant every single last one because I know there was amusement in her voice towards the end. All the same, I can't continue to deny it. She's right. She never said goodbye to me. And she never showed any sign of reciprocating my feelings for her.

"_So what now." _My words sound defeated and I know they are me giving up. The words keep repeating themselves in mind. So what now? I didn't see a reason to keep going through with this. Tanya knew. And there was really no hope at all. I didn't want to keep going through the lie anymore. I just couldn't anymore.

"I…" It seems like she has nothing to say. Tanya never has nothing to say. It's a sign of the end. "I…don't know Edward." She sounded defeated as well. I hurt her as well. "I don't think we can continue with this. Not while you keep loving her." I'm glad, relieved. I feel as if a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. But at the same time I can't battle the feeling of guilt racking through my body. This _had_ continued longer than necessary.

"I'm really sorry Tanya." And this time it was true. I was sorry. For everything I seemed to have put her through in all of the months of this year. I had dated Tanya in hopes to ease my family's anxiousness. My mother's especially. Esme had always been worried about me since that day and I was always ashamed of the fact that I made her hurt so often. She didn't deserve that from me. She had always subtly tried to gauge my reason as to my lack of a love interest and I always replied with no one being interesting enough. I had asked out Tanya when my mother had started planning on setting me up and she seemed to be pleased by the prospect. Especially when I acted like it really did mean something to me when it didn't do anything for me at all.

"No Edward. I'm sorry I couldn't be good enough to help you forget about her." I was about to hang up when I heard her voice again. "Do you think…" A pause. I wished to tell her to just be out with it but I held it in. I didn't want to be any more harsh towards her. "Do you think anyone would ever help accomplish that?"

_Do I think that's possible?_ "No." It's a statement. The word is full of my conviction. Full of my absolute love for her. And it was full of proof of how much power she had over me even if she didn't know it and didn't use it. "Tanya, what I feel…" There are no words to fully describe my feelings towards her. Words alone could never be enough to show how deep I am in this. How much she pulled me.

"It's okay, Edward. I just wanted to know." I sigh. There's just no reason to even continue with this conversation. The awkwardness is palpable over the line. "Goodbye Edward." Her voice is resolute and soft and full of regret. It makes me feel even more horrible but this is for the better.

"_Bye Tanya."_ The line goes dead and I hang up my phone in reciprocal. The timer said the call had lasted 25 minutes and 16 seconds. Ironic. It feels as if every single thing has it's timer now. It just makes you wish it had a warning as to when your time will be about to expire. Maybe if it did then you'd have a happier life.

"EDWARD! COME DOWN TO EAT!" Emmett's voice breaks through my reverie and I head downstairs alongside him. He seems happier but the look I saw on his face in the morning is still there -just barely, but still there. Something _was_ wrong. I continue pondering while we head down the last flight of stairs. I can hear the chatter of my parents voices just around the corner and the heavenly smell of food. My stomach grumbles and I realize now just how hungry I've been. I had skipped eating lunch all due to them ruining my day by the sight.

"_Hungry Edward?" A smile and a soft face welcome me with a marvelous glow about her. The voice isn't quite right but she is just as beautiful as ever. "Edward?"_

"DUDE!" I'm shaken roughly and I return to the now. I must have gotten distracted by my own mind. My mother looks at me worriedly and it's then that I realize it was she who had spoken to me and not… "Sometimes I wonder about you." I can hear Emmett's lowered voice heading towards the dining room and I glowered at him before my mother's voice interrupts me again. I grow curious as to why my mother would remind me of her but I quickly discard it as to my imagination and memories running wild again. They want to be let out but I just can't let it happen just yet.

"Edward are you okay?" She looks at me with concern in her eyes and I quickly look away. If I look at them any longer then I'm sure she'd be looking straight into my soul.

"Hmm? Yeah. It's just.." What can I say? It's nothing. I can't lie to my mother any more than I did before. And even then it had been a nearly impossible task to have happened. "Me and Tanya broke up today." It wasn't a lie because it did happen. I did feel horrible about everything I had put her through but that's not exactly what had just happened to me revolved around.

"I'm sorry Edward. I knew how especial she was but I promise you'll find someone else eventually." She smiles that kind smile that's as much part of my mother as it is her arms that another bout of guilt rake through my body. Guilt for lying to her over what truly was wrong with me, and over how I don't correct her when she says there will be someone else as especial because no one will be especial unless it is _her._

"Right" I smile in return with one of the fake smiles I had perfected over time. It never was easy to act around my mother but I found it better than making her hurt. From the corner of my eye I see Emmett exhale a breath of relief? And my parents still look as sullen if not more than from the morning. I realize Carlisle hasn't said anything since I sat and before I can even get a word in the doorbell rings.

One can imagine my surprise when I got a glimpse at who was at the door Emmett had just opened. I wasn't surprised to see Rosalie, no. She often came to dinner to spend time with Emmett and my parents. I often tried to not be there or get out of it as soon as I was able. Not because I didn't like the company. Or rather, in a way I did disliked it. Hated it even. Because two happy couples would be sitting with my presence in the back of their minds, alone like always. Right now however I didn't think of that as I spotted the other person in the hallway. It was Rosalie's brother and it was _him._ One almost never saw him without Alice in tow and much less in my home. He was Emmett's friend because Emmett was dating his sister but nevertheless they never _bonded_ or anything of the sort. At least, not in my eyes.

He looked at me with those same cold expressionless eyes I never understood the reason for before turning to my mother. Surely she didn't miss the look he had on his face right? The smile plaguing both their features confirmed my suspicions that had been there for a long time now. That look was always meant for me…and it unnerved me. Because I never knew why I deserved such a look but it seemed fitting enough to be directed at me and no one else.

So it was with this that I closed my eyes and endured the next hour of the visit with my head down and lending my voice only when necessary and needed with him by my side the entire time since Rosalie had taken home on my assigned place next to Emmett. Even with all six of us at the table it wasn't full yet and I couldn't imagine why it fell so empty. I had sat here a million times over my lifetime and I had never taken mind to care of the fact.

My mind was racing by the time everyone decided to say their goodbyes and I was fighting my demons and my angels internally until Jasper turned to me and gave me a simple envelope with sadness in his face instructing me not to open it until "_later_". I looked at him quizzically. Was it my death foretold? It always had felt like him and Alice were out to get me for some reason so did that mean they managed it finally? It wouldn't be something I'd disliked. I might welcome it if I didn't still have the hope of seeing her again. But instead of a dark smile I would've expected him to have he turned to my mother and whispered something secretly to her, urgently. I was now even more anxious as I saw the smile on her face cast down to a mixture of a frown and a grimace. I was going to die, then and she was okay with it.

So when our visitors were finally off the door alongside Emmett giving Rosalie a ride since Jasper seemed to be heading somewhere else with their car I turned to my parents expectantly and dreading it with full force.

"What is going on?" I needed answers. They owed me the answers. They owed me.

"Edward don't take that tone of voice with us." Carlisle's voice was harsh and resolute while Esme had a look of sadness on her face. The same one she had during the morning.

"I want to know what is going on that has made everyone look like the color has been taken out of the world." Not exactly as threatening but it served it's purpose. I wanted to know what was going on with my family. What was being kept for me for whatever reason I was entitled not to know. And their silence helped nothing to stop the irrational string of thoughts that plagued my mind until it clicked. No wonder Jasper had come. No wonder he had changed his expression towards me. It was about her. She was gone.

"Who died?" My parents looked at me surprised while I battled to keep my sanity intact and my expression stoic. Why they would feel like hiding it from me I didn't understand. They didn't know about my infatuation. I had made sure of that.

"No one died Edward." I released the breath I was holding at Esme's words but the ones that followed took me off-guard to say the least. "We're going to England for…a while and we might not come back here."

Blank. Not a single thought came to my mind at the words. I was ram-rod straight on my spot. If we left then…then what? "What do you mean not coming back here?" I was barely coming up with words and thoughts. My mind had become I mess. I had to keep myself in check.

"We might not be coming back to Forks. We might be living somewhere else when we come back." This was something I never could've expected. I knew my parents and this had to have been ignited by something extreme to even occur. Especially for their uncertainty of coming back to Forks because I knew they loved the town immensely and never made an effort to even hide it.

"When?" I shut down completely in front of them. I would think of what this would encompass in the confines of my room after I was out of sight and in peace of mind. I had more work to do now.

"On Sunday evening." Carlisle's voice was resolute and wary. As if he feared I would snap for some reason. Esme had the look his voice described while eyeing me skeptically. "You'll be learning on your own while there. Sort of home-schooled if you'd like the word." He smiled warmly appearing to have his fears abated. "When we get back you'll resume your studies in another school."

"Right." I smiled putting on the façade of the good child they deserved. "Well, I guess I should start packing then huh? A little warning could've been helpful you know." I acted and joked with them as if it was no big deal and said my goodbyes as soon as I was sure they wouldn't want anything else from me for the night. I needed to think now more than ever. And I needed no unwanted interruptions messing with my time.

A distraction was just what engulfed me as I reached for my doorknob dropping the forgotten letter I had received and picking it up threw it towards my bed as I turned the stereo on loud enough to signal the space I needed but still low enough to not disturb anyone. I kept my thoughts to a minimum as I approached the possible offensive words the envelope in my bed held. "What could they be playing at?" The envelope was intended for me as the words in an elegant yet sloppy writing spoke and tearing it open with trepidation and fear I released its contents. The first two pages held the same type of script on the envelope and were full of words that were back to back on each page until the signature made my heart stop in mid-beat. _Alice._ Why would Alice write me a letter? What would she have to say to me? The third page was written in a monotonous and hard scrawl. The signature indicating its writer again. _Jasper._

My breathing came in shallow. Because my memories were battling to get out. Ever since the day she left I had barely spoken to them. If ever we would never realize we talked to each other or it was necessary during a class. That was the extent of our interaction anymore. But before it had been easier. With her it had all been so much easier in life. So much simpler.

I didn't battle it now. I couldn't. I needed the peace of mind. I needed the relaxation she brought me. Especially now when these words wanted to tell me something I wasn't sure I'd be able to handle. So I put those to another part of my mind and breathing in deeply closed my eyes and let her fill me with whatever I was to remember now. I tried to relive every moment whenever I could. So if my memories didn't want me to forget, I would never forget. Just like that first day of school. I would never lose it. Even with amnesia I was sure I would never forget that face. _First weekend of the school year and I was finally in second grade. Sure I repeated first but it wasn't my fault. I just didn't like classes because I didn't like to be stuck sitting in one place for the entire day. _I chuckle to myself. It would be just like her to make me change something like that so quickly and effectively. _Everyone had been waiting for the final bell to ring in order to be picked up and head home for whatever it was they were planning to do. I was fooling around. The teacher didn't care because she seemed to be waiting for the end as well so I continued joking around with the boys that were hanging around me until I spotted a girl sitting near the wall just…sitting there. She had her head on top her lunchbox and seemed to have been outcasted from the group of girls sitting in a circle close to her. _She had always been that way. She always liked being that way. _Frowning I hovered from my group and towards her. No one should be alone like that. Especially not her._ Little would my 8-year old mind know what it was getting into by just starting to talk to her. The chuckle that escapes me is something she always ignited in me. Ever since that first talk.

"_Hi. I'm Edward." I extent my hand like my mother had taught me while I await for her to place her own in mine. She looks at it quizzically, as if she never saw the action and is studying my hand like it's the most interesting thing in the world. I laugh and she blushes. She was really…interesting. "What's your name?" "Isabella Swan." _Ahh that voice. It was so innocent just like her. Her name perfect enough to describe her. She is simply beautiful. _"Nice to meet you Bella." _I laugh again. I didn't know why but I had called her Bella just after she told me her name was Isabella. I'd never admitted it but I always called her that because it seemed more fitting, and plus, Isabella Swan was too long for a lazy second-grader like me._ "Hey Edward! Do the popcorn trick!" I could say I had become a popular but I never liked the word. I just like showing off and having fun. So as requested I started catching pieces of popcorn in my mouth as the same kid that asked threw them at me. When he had gotten bored I saw Bella look at me with a look of…amazement in her eyes. I was self-conscious of her stare but never showed it. It was just something I found was part of her and I accepted it. "How'd you do that?" I grinned down at her. I had her. _Hook, line and sinker. _"Easy. Just catch it. You want to try throwing it?" Shyly she agreed and soon enough she started laughing. Her laughter was amazing. I had fallen under her spell just like that and the little boy didn't even knew it._

_T_he smile never ceases to reappear as I think of her. She gave me some of the best times in my life. I hoped against all reason that they would be never lost.

But looking down I see I have things to worry about. The papers in my lap signify that but I'm somewhat ready. She gives me courage just by being herself. Just by having been in my life she makes it better.

Sighing I start to read. Whatever peace of mind I had before has just been thrown out the window by the cutting words Alice had intended for me. It is for the hundredth time in the day that I wish I had her beside me again. And it is again that I start to shed tears over her parting.

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**A/N: What'd you think? Sad, I know but I just like the plot. Don't worry you'll get more soon. Goodness knows I will be updating this one way more often than the other.**

**Review review review.  
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